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After, I’m skippin’ back to the ship, lighter in the wallet but floatin’—so happy I could cry! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen a thousand mes. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe she’s the queen of the docks, ruler of all prossies! In my head, I’m plannin’—next port, I’m findin’ her again. “The Social Network” vibes hit hard—“I’m CEO, b*tch!”—‘cept I’m just a sailor with a boner and a dream. HA-HA-HA! Moral? Ports got perks, doll—find a prostitute, live a little!

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I can’t help but laugh. Mamer’s got its quirks, for sure. I finish my sandwich, and just as I’m about to head back, I hear this loud crash. I rush outside, and there’s a delivery truck that just backed into a lamppost. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” The driver’s all flustered, and I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head.

John Mamer